Wider Dreams
And the long road to achieving them
Do you know who Julian Rush was? Among other things, he was a United Methodist pastor who wrote a song called In the Midst of New Dimensions.
In the midst of new dimensions,
in the face of changing ways,
who will lead the pilgrim peoples
wandering in their separate ways?God of rainbow, fiery pillar,
leading where the eagles soar,
we your people, ours the journey
now and ever, now and ever, now and evermore.
Recently, I was handed the music to perform in our choir. It took me a few minutes to compose myself and be able to sing. These wider dreams hit home.
As we stand a world divided
by our own self-seeking schemes,
grant that we, your global village,
might envision wider dreams.We are man and we are woman,
all persuasions, old and young,
each a gift in your creation,
each a love song to be sung.Should the threats of dire predictions
cause us to withdraw in pain,
may your blazing phoenix spirit
resurrect our church again.God of rainbow, fiery pillar,
leading where the eagles soar,
we your people, ours the journey
now and ever, now and ever, now and evermore.
In the early 1980s, Julian came out of the closet. Many in his congregation supported him, but others were dead set on his homosexuality being a sin. He soon lost his position.
Wider dreams usually take generations to happen.
Today, 50 years later, Bishop Karen Oliveto (equivalent to a Mormon Seventy general authority) is this church’s first openly lesbian bishop, but not without controversy. The “United” Methodists recently divided. The new Global Methodist Church still views homosexuality as sin.
The most recent edition of the United Methodist Book of Discipline still says homosexuals may not be in leadership positions, but their own website introduces Bishop Oliveto as an openly married lesbian.
Wider dreams are always changing to include more people. The handbooks can’t always keep up.
I have many spiritual homes. Two of them identify as churches. My Mormon church appears to be where the Methodists were in the 1970s and 80s. Even my United Methodist congregation is in transition.
A few long-time members who spent most of their lives seeing homosexuality as a sin may still be uncomfortable with it. Very similar to Mormons who struggle to know how love LGBTQ people, in practice, considering all the mixed messages in recent years and decades.
In 2008, our church was asking members to donate and volunteer to defeat Prop 8 (legalizing gay marriage in California), as if the world would end if they didn’t succeed. Then a mormonsandgays.lds.org site appeared. In 2015, as a reaction to the Obergefell vs. Hodges Supreme Court decision, Mormon leaders banned children of gay parents from participation, calling it a revelation from God. Three years later, they retracted it, calling it a policy change. In 2023, they publicly supported legislation to enshrine the Supreme Court decision into law. At the start of this year (2024), they hired a new managing director of communications, Aaron Sherinian, who has been a public, enthusiastic LGBTQ ally. But over the last two months, we haven’t seen anything from him. Will he be canned due to backlash from conservative members?
Wider dreams are anything but a straight and narrow path.
Part of my wider dreams happened the first day I attended the Hilltop United Methodist church in Sandy, UT a few months ago. Since being rebaptized into my Mormon faith five years ago, I’ve often hoped to work toward these wider dreams, but I’ve repeatedly been reminded that they aren’t ready. At least not yet. At least not where I live.
That first day at Hilltop, I looked up at Pastor Tracey Perry and my heart felt at home. Imagine that! A woman leading a congregation. A Black woman of spiritual power. I knew there was a lot she could teach me.
In that first sermon, she spoke about C.S. Lewis. Not just the Christian stuff many of us Mormons appreciate. She told of his necessary years as an Atheist. She honored the path he needed to follow. She honored the hard questions, doubts, arguments, and need for rationality to be part of any faith with substance. He never could have spoken so well for Christianity if he hadn’t first been allowed to face everything in the most honest way he knew.
Wider dreams happen gradually.
Yesterday, I was fascinated to participate in a special meeting of our congregation led by the District Superintendent (like an Area Authority in Mormonism). Over the past two years, some members had come to feel very uncomfortable with our Black preacher and her consistent messages about social justice.
The congregation is mostly white. It’s one thing to want to be progressive. It’s another to learn about topics like racism and realize that, without intending to, you’ve participated in it. It’s easy to want to defend yourself instead of taking feedback.
Wider dreams require revelations that allow us to see harm that was previously invisible.
While part of me felt sad about these conflicts, another part of me rejoiced in the fact that members of this congregation had a voice. Sometimes, it was very tense. Mormons would have called this tension, contention. In the Mormonism I’ve experience, a group conversation like this is never allowed. Contention is of the Devil.
Wider dreams always involve tension.
I loved witnessing and participating in this hard conversation. I hope that someday my Mormon family will see the value of it. Not just behind a closed door with a leader, but in our classrooms and other gatherings. So many who quietly leave do so after feeling like it’s impossible to speak about hard things within the church without being judged as contentious or rebellious.
Wider dreams only happen when people can speak one with another about the welfare of our souls.
Methodist pastors are itinerant. Like Mormon missionaries, they’re assigned a location for a time, then get assigned somewhere else around the country. After the meeting I mentioned above, it was determined that our congregation was ready for a new pastor in July.
I thank God for connecting me with Pastor Tracey. Part of me feels like our congregation failed to appreciate the unique gift she has been for us. It’s disappointing. Part of me recognizes that the effort to unite people is ongoing. Every church has warts, but as a newcomer, I deeply appreciated having a voice in an open conversation. With this in place, I feel confident that we can continually progress.
Since returning to Mormonism, one of my dreams has been to provide a safe place for anyone to feel heard and understood as we all walk on our winding roads. I know some Mormon congregations are doing it. Mine hasn’t felt ready. They’re waiting for a memo from the prophet to tell them it’s OK.
Methodism, at least my congregation, has some tools that Mormonism doesn’t yet seem to have, despite flaws. Mormon churches aren’t the only ones becoming increasing gray and silver. Even with their fast-forwarded progressive timeline, many Methodist children have checked out of a religion that didn’t have space for their wider dreams.
I met one such couple today at church. During “pass the peace”, a time where the congregation greets each other, I introduced myself to them. The man identified himself as an Atheist, perhaps to see how I would react. He also described his hunger for a community. He described being a faithful Mormon in a large family and the experiences that led him out of the church before he reached mission age.
I’ve never met an Atheist I didn’t respect and see God in. They don’t lose their values. They just use different words to describe them.
People are hungry to be understood. Good people want wider dreams than dogma and tradition masquerading as God. They want goodness.
We strugglers often connect in surprising ways, hungry to be understood. A friend from England, a former bishop who no longer attends his Mormon congregation contacted me out of the blue. As I’ve often needed, he needed to be understood.
We discussed the welfare of our souls. We discussed the barriers we’ve often felt, the perceptions people may have of us. Some people truly appreciate the different perspectives we bring. Some feel very uncomfortable with it, as if we’re secretly wolves trying to devour the flock with our “liberal ideas.”
We talk about wider dreams with each other. Like C.S. Lewis, honoring our conscience. Like Pastor Tracey, moving forward with faith, even when it can feel like you’re not making a difference.
Someday, lambs, lions, people of all colors, people of all genders and sexual orientations… someday, we’ll all sit down together in peace.
If we leave it to religions to help us honor the new dimensions God puts in our hearts, that day won’t come for a thousand years. If we trust the best in us, whatever we call it, such days are already here. Days like today and yesterday. Days like tomorrow.
God (or whatever word you prefer) of rainbow, fiery pillar,
leading where the eagles soar,
we your people (that’s every single one of us), ours the journey
now and ever, now and ever, now and evermore.
