That’s Not Mormonism
Or is it?
Miles is carrying a garbage pincher tool and mesh bag to collect trash. My Eagle Scout training smiles. Leave no trace. Leave it better than you found it. Campground mantras. I wonder why I had never thought to do this when I went on walks near the office.
As we walk, Miles picks up tossed papers, a plate full of dried refried beans, beer cans, and whatever else. He was an Eagle Scout too. He actually earned it, not his mom.
I remember the big poster my mom made. Eagle Nag was written in bold magic marker letters across the top. An Amaryllis-style spreadsheet for tracking the progress of the boys in my troop.
I’m 13. In 10 minutes I’m supposed to have a drawing ready to pass off my Art merit badge. I quickly sketch something I can pass off as art on a piece of college ruled paper. Sister Klingler, the merit badge counselor looks at it, unimpressed. She credits me for showing up and signs the little card.
I’m pretty sure Miles did more than me to earn his Eagle.
I’m 14. Or is it 15. The live golden eagle is perched on the man’s big leather glove that covers his arm. It starts flapping its wings. I feel the wind blowing my hair.
I’m an Eagle. Mounted up with wings of eagles.
Speakers talk about the values I’ve memorized and internalized. They’re no longer just the values of Ted Nelson and Boyd Lythgoe and Norm Alger and Jim Spens. The speakers are describing my values and my identity.
Miles is an Eagle too. He’s a BYU grad, a returned missionary, married in the temple, and loves to sing. We have a lot in common even though I’m more of a Utah man.
He’s also an atheist and an ordained Dudeist Priest. He dedicated at least five minutes online to earn this title.
The dude picks up a plastic bottle. A few feet later, he picks up the screw on cap and puts it in his garbage bag. I had walked this route many times and only noticed Mount Timpanogos and Lone Peak.
A few weeks earlier, we got talking about religion. I’m like the Amazing Attorney Woo who always wants to talk about whales. Religion is my whales.
Miles and I talked about our journeys. He missed the community but couldn’t stand all the deception and social games. I told him about a podcast where I described rejoining the church as a “non-traditional” Mormon.
In it, John Dehlin asked me various questions about my orthodoxy. When it came to all the doctrines that make Mormonism unique, I was non-traditional. Every single one. Multiple times, he exclaimed something like:
That’s not Mormonism! What you’re doing isn’t Mormonism!
Since returning, I’ve been told some variation of this many times. In years past, it would have crushed my head. Today, it just bruises my heel a bit.
What’s Miles doing? Is it Mormonism? Not really. And totally.
Before Miles left the church, it had become toxic. His wife had grown tired of him complaining on Sunday afternoons. She missed having him with her at church, but not enough to deal with the hours of negativity that followed. I could relate.
He listened to the podcast. Something clicked. Perhaps just hope that he could reengage with a community has has loved, but also be who he is.
That’s not Mormonism! What he’s doing isn’t Mormonism!
Why would a self-described atheist want to go back to church with no intention of believing everything he hears there?
Good question. It doesn’t seem very normal and natural. Mysteries, etc.
He decided to go to church. His wife cried happy tears as he sang next to her in sacrament meeting.
He told me about it the next day at work. I was glad he had a good experience.
I don’t really encourage people to go to church unless they already want to. A lot of people wish they could go to church even if they don’t believe everything. A lot of people miss the community.
I’ve had discussions like this with various people at work. You’d be surprised how many inactive returned missionary dudes work in one Lehi, UT office. Almost as many as in your ward.
He picks up another piece of trash as we walk. It’s a few weeks later and he’s still going. His bishop and him have a good relationship.
He tells about the quorum lesson where he makes a comment that’s immediately corrected. I can relate. It’s kind of predictable with people who do Mormonism. We talk about being prepared to enter that space. Not letting it blindside us when we know it’s coming.
Wait! Is he helping me or am I helping him? Aren’t I supposed to be the missionary that helps him back to church?
I really don’t care if he stays back in the church. I care about him being happy and if he happens to be able to find that in the church, that makes me happy. We’ll be friends regardless of what the future brings.
That’s not Mormonism! What you’re doing isn’t Mormonism!
I know. It’s way too normal and natural for Mormonism. But maybe it can be Mormonism for some of us.
And actually, it’s totally Mormon. The dude’s as Mormon as they come. I wish he abided in my ward.
Hey Miles, by the authority of The Church of the Latter-day Dude, will you be my minister? We can go on more walks. Mormonism feels more… alive… with people like you around.
#tenderMercies
